I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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