Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
