Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
