you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
zippers are such a cool invention
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
