But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
