Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
