i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
