im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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