I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
