dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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