No awkward lesbian experiences without me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
