At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
