What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
