Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
