does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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