if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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