Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
