I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
