I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
