Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
