So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
