this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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