So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
