Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
