Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
