okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
