There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
