Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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