Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
