Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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