just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
