Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
