i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
