We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
