where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
