I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
