Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
