There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
