Dual....:-)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
