Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
