This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
