Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
