Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
