Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
