I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
