I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
