do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just cropdusted the office
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
