oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
