Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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