even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
