Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
