I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
