My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
