Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
